Ukelandia Magzine #6 now online !

Here is our 6th issue of the Ukelandia Magazin

5th issue of the Ukelandia Magazine now online !

Here is the 5th issue of our magazine.

U kan help them too

by Marlen Rodriguez-Wolfe, M.M.

Part of the ‘Ukuleles for Ukraine campaign, the UKC seeks to help
children and teens impacted by the war.

The ‘Ukulele Kids Club (UKC), a music non-profit from the United States, has always believed in music’s ability to bring comfort and hope during difficult times. The recent events in Ukraine have motivated them to expand their mission to reach children impacted by the war. The UKC is rallying the music community around their ‘Ukulele. Ukraine. U Kan.’ campaign with the message that music can heal the wounds of war and an instrument for children to keep is a gift for wellness and for life.

Since February 2022, millions of people have crossed Ukraine’s borders seeking refuge from the war, in what the United Nations calls “the biggest refugee crisis in Europe since World War II.” The majority of those seeking shelter are women and children. At the same time, some Ukrainian families who have remained in their homes also require psychosocial and emotional support. The Ukulele Kids Club has partnered with the World Federation of Music Therapy to identify music therapists working with refugee kids abroad and those still in Ukraine, with the idea that music and ukuleles can provide much-needed support.

“Children exposed to war and conflict are at heightened risk for mental health issues including depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD),” said Marlén Rodriguez-Wolfe, a music therapist and CEO of Ukulele Kids Club. “But as music therapists, we know that music can facilitate healthy coping strategies, help manage anxiety and provide a sense of comfort during difficult times.”

Music Therapy is the clinical use of music interventions that achieve physical and mental health goals delivered by a trained clinician. Music therapy is applied in migrant care in countries known for receiving a large influx of refugees, such as Colombia, Germany, Poland, and Turkey. In these settings, music therapists apply a combination of music-making activities and therapeutic interventions to help refugee children and adults experiencing health benefits from music and support their transition or acclimation to a new environment. But Ukrainian children are showing up in programs all across Europe, from hospitals to community settings, one of which is through the Grieg Academy in Bergen, Norway.

This music therapy program is held in a public school, where hundreds of Ukrainian refugee children receive their schooling. “All of them are newly arrived refugees. They have all come with their siblings and mothers, as their fathers are required in the military forces in Ukraine. The families experience quite large amounts of stress, both due to the war-experience, as well as resettlement stress.” said Kaja Enge, Music Therapist at the school. “Our experience so far is that the children really want to play music, and use the opportunity to express and experience support and community in music. Many want to bring instruments home after school, as they are lacking opportunities for musical engagement in their leisure time.”

For children and teens living with heightened stress and uncertainty related to the Ukraine war, the ‘ukulele becomes a way to gain a sense of control over their environment and wellbeing. Additionally, making music allows them to engage in an activity that promotes self-expression and connection to their community. “Thanks to the ukuleles, a group of students (or technically just one ‘ukulele star, Ylva!) was able to throw together a 2-week program open to Ukrainian & Norwegian students, aimed at integration through musicking. As far as I know, there haven’t been many other attempts to integrate students, as well as address therapeutic goals of mastery, empowerment, and community building.” said Julie Liisberg, Music Therapist.

For other families, resettling into a new country comes with its own sets of challenges. “We are getting reports from our partner hospitals in the UK that they are also working with Ukrainian families who have received medical diagnoses during their asylum period” said Rodriguez-Wolfe of UKC. The Ukulele Kids Club supports over 300 music therapy programs around the world, arond 90% of those are hospital-based. Therefore, they are adept at understanding how music makes a difference for medically fragile kids. “Fleeing a war-torn country is stressful enough. To then receive a diagnosis for your child while having to coordinate care, makes the situation for these families more complex and difficult. But we know music therapy helps, and the ‘ukulele is a perfect companion for these hard times”.

You may be thinking “Well, how can I help?” Join the U Kan Challenge! Helping get ukuleles to these Ukrainian kids in need. By making a donation on the campaign website and challenging others to do the same, you will be helping the UKC send the instrument we all love to kids and families who really need music right now. To learn more and support Ukrainian kids please visit www.ukulelesforukraine.com

The Origins of Ukulele

by Abhay Koppar

Blue skies, shimmering sandy beaches, swaying palms, verdant green valleys, whispering waves and as the sun sets on the ocean, one hears the dulcet sound of Ukulele……. the tropical paradise in the middle of Pacific Ocean, the Hawaiian Islands.

Hawaii and Ukulele are so synonymous, they are inseparable. But was the Ukulele invented in Hawaii? Let’s trace the origins of the Ukulele together.

The story of Ukulele begins on the rugged island, Madeira, known for Madeira wine. The wine industry and furniture making were the backbone of Madeira’s economy. Unfortunately, by the mid-1800s after the collapse of the wine industry, many unemployed Madeirans left the island for greener pastures elsewhere.

The sugar industry was booming in the late 1800s in the Kingdom of Hawaii and there was an unprecedented labor shortage to run the plantations and factories. The word spread all over the world and reached Madeira. Willing men and women signed short-term contracts to work in the fields. They were provided a sailing passage and freedom after the completion of contract by the plantation owners. The immigrants and their families set sail to the Hawaiian Islands on the British clipper ship, SS Ravenscrag. After a grueling 4 month long journey, the exhausted Madeiran immigrants arrived in Honolulu on a sunny Saturday in August of 1879. As soon as they set their feet on the sand, a passenger, an accomplished musician, broke into a rambunctious song and dance playing a four-string musical instrument called machête The instrument was also known as “braguinha” or the “Machéte de Braga” named after the city in northern Portugal from where it originated, but widely strummed on streets in Funchal, the capital of Madeira. The Hawaiians were so enamored by the sound of the musical instrument, that on September 3, 1879, the Hawaiian Gazette wrote: “…Madeira Islanders recently arrived here have been delighting the people with nightly street concerts. The musicians are fine performers on their strange instruments, which are a kind of cross between a guitar and a banjo, but which produce very sweet music in the hands of the Portuguese minstrels.”

On that ship was a cabinet maker Miguel Nunes from Funchal, who worked as an indentured worker on the sugarcane fields. He gained freedom after fulfilling his contractual obligations in 1883 and in 1884 he opened a small furniture shop in Honolulu. The shop manufactured furniture, as well as musical instruments. How Nunes turned into a talented luthier remains a mystery to this day! Did he invent the Ukulele no one knows! But a decade after their arrival, Nunes or the musicians from Madeira, first introduced an instrument that was a hybrid of the machête and small Portuguese instrument, the five-string rajão. The petite size and body outline of the machête, and its 17-fret fingerboard provided the basis for the ukuleles’ overall shape and configuration. Instead of the machete’s D-G-B-D tuning, the ukulele employed the tuning of the rajão’s top four strings: G-C-E-A, minus its fifth string (a low D)! Viola! Ukulele was born.

But how did the instrument get its name Ukulele? ‘Uku with the ‘okina (the punctuation mark that looks like a backwards apostrophe) means flea. Lele means to jump. Jumping fleas! Perhaps it comes from the fact that Ukulele players jump fast across the fretboard and it resembles jumping fleas!The other comes from Queen Lili’uokalani who interpreted ‘Uku poetically as “gift” and Ukulele as a “gift from far away”. The new musical instrument received patronage from the Hawaiian Royal family: King David Kalakaua, Hawaii’s last king, his Queen Emma, and the future Queen Lili’uokalani. They were all accomplished musicians and learned to play Ukulele themselves. In fact, Ukulele was the national instrument of the Kingdom of Hawaii and always featured in the royal events and traditional luas.

Miguel Nunes continued to thrive and taught the art of ukulele making to numerous craftsmen, including his son Leonardo. One of his well-known apprentices, Samuel Kamaka, started his own shop in 1916 in Honolulu. Nearly 100 years later, the Kamaka Ukulele and Guitar Works proudly carries on the legacy of Ukulele making, an instrument that changed the music in Hawaii. After a decline in interest to play Ukulele in mainstream music, it has once again regained popularity in the last decade, and it continues to grow.

Ukulele is truly a gift that keeps giving.

Newbie perspective of GNUF (great Northern Ukulele Festival)

by Justilele

Like many, I set out on my ukulele journey during lockdown back in April 2020, which feels like a lifetime ago. Venturing out with my uke has been one of the best reasons to leave the enforced comfort of home and get back out there with the rest of the world. Where better to start than the Grand Northern Ukulele Festival (or GNUF to its friends), based in beautiful Yorkshire, UK?

Fellow Ukelandian Bethany (@guardianioftheuke) first brought GNUF to my attention. I instantly thought this must be quite a festival if it is known by this wonderful Ukulele lady in America. GNUF did not disappoint!

We arrived on Thursday, ready for Friday morning’s workshops. When I say we, I’m part of the Ukulele Project (running the South East division), so I was at GNUF meeting the other project founders face to face for the first time since Tara (London Ukulele Project) brought us all together. But that’s a whole other story!

I hadn’t booked any workshops as I didn’t want to be restricted with being anywhere for a certain time for my first experience. So, while my Ukulele Project friends attended some awesome workshops, I wandered the streets of Huddersfield seeking fellow ukulele folk. All seemed quiet, so I went to the pub (a safe bet). The Head of Steam by the railway station was where I found them! There were pockets of people around the pub, jamming and chatting. I met a lady called Jennifer who had come alone from America just for GNUF, so come on, Bethany! Whether you were by yourself or part of a group, if you had a ukulele with you, you were not alone and everyone was very welcoming.

Things seemed to really kick off later in the day as people poured into the pub and the jams got louder. (It might have had something to do with the pub offering a discount if you showed them your uke!) Later I was stunned to realise I had been casually jamming with some of the main stage acts. How friendly and down to earth are these awesome ukulele people? I noticed how well they engaged the room, shouting out the chords etc. and then the penny dropped when I saw them performing on the main stage at the theatre the next day! At GNUF you can be chatting and jamming with people one moment, and the next watching them shred it on stage supporting Jake or Taimane.

GNUF is spread out across around five intimate venues, so as a first-timer it took a while to get my bearings, but simply finding a person with a ukulele never failed me! One of the things I love about GNUF is the fact you can only buy a weekend ticket, meaning you could completely indulge in everything ukulele to your heart’s content. GNUF is volunteer led, with many performers giving their time at the merch stand or running jams and open mics, which contributes to the lovely ethos of the weekend.

GNUF has big names, but also offers opportunities to join impromptu jams or open mics. There was a more formal Open Mic stage outside in a courtyard by the theatre (which you had to sign up to in advance) which was fantastic to see new acts perform and also paved the way for newbies like me. So, on the Sunday I did some songs there with the Ukulele Project team, which was a terrifying delight!

I particularly enjoyed meeting players outside of the Instagram and Facebook communities (which is where I’ve spent nearly all my time). It was great to make those connections beyond the social media world, and to hear songs more than sixty seconds long!

On Sunday, the Ukulele Projects (London, Scotland, Wales, East Midlands, South East) were lucky to have a stand right by the main stage promoting our not-for-profit, where we use music to tackle loneliness and promote well-being. Through this, I got the chance to chat to Jake Shimabukuro and also Taimane (yes, I said chat, not just selfies!). All the acts at GNUF welcome fans to come and meet them throughout the weekend, but without even meeting both ukulele virtuosos, my first time at GNUF would have been incredible with the amazing array of talented performers and friendly ukulele lovers from around the world. This combined with fabulously intimate venues and plenty of audience participation throughout, ticked all the ukulele festival boxes that I didn’t know I had!

Obviously, I am biased with limited ukulele festival experience and I haven’t (yet!) visited any ukulele festivals abroad, but in the meantime I can’t wait to get back to GNUF for a second time. I wonder what next year’s GNUF will have in store for us, and whether I’ll get to jam with any of you?

Despite many of us learning in lockdown or only ever playing alone at home, the ukulele is a sociable instrument. Connecting via online forums such as our awesome Ukelandia, seeing performances and having real life ukulele strum-alongs such as those at GNUF, I’ve always felt part of something bigger. Attending my first uke festival has shown me what I already knew, which is that the ukulele community really is the friendliest and best in the world!

A small blip of encouragement

by Monica Raye

When I was eight years old, I was standing on a raft tied to a tree on the side of a lake. My step father was driving a boat and pulling a water skier. As he approached the shore to allow the skier off, he missed the raft by a foot. The loose ski rope somehow grabbed my arm and the next thing I knew, I was in the water yelling can’t move my arm!

I spent three weeks in the hospital with a broken collar bone and broken arm with nerve damage. To this day, part of my left arm is still numb and two fingers do not always cooperate when needed- my pinky and ring finger.

In my twenties, I really wanted to play guitar, so at age 24, my hubby bought me a guitar. I tried it but it was impossible! At age 50, it was suggested that I try the ukulele as it only had four strings. I got one from my son as a gift and I fell in love with it.

I started taking lessons on YouTube (Thanks Bernadette!) during the Covid lockdown and I found I could do most of the chords which made many songs easy. C G D F were easy chords but there was that dreaded E. My fingers would not cooperate.

It felt great to play and I was hooked…hooked really bad! Bernadette’s YouTube class was LIVE!! You could ask questions!!! It was absolutely perfect. I felt like I had won the ukulele lottery!! It blew me away when my comments were read out and my questions were answered.

Some songs I couldn’t finish because of that dreaded E. We started learning chord melodies. A turning point for me was when we practiced Pink Panther. It was then I noticed my E problem and the nerve damage in my hand was improving. I truly believe that placing my fingers in the position repeatedly and switching from chord to chord, stretched my tendons and developed muscles in my hand. There were days it hurt and I was uncomfortable but persistent practice provided improvement. My pinky still needs a bit more work. I keep hearing Bernadette saying pinky power… I must persist. I encourage everyone to push through and not to give up.

I really wish I was given ukulele lessons as a teenager. Learning the ukulele has definitely been a game changer for me.

If you have finger pain issues, try picking up the ukulele during commercials and strum a few chords. Get online and take Bernadette’s challenges and see if it works for you.

The best decision I have ever made was to join the ukulele community, Ukelandia.

Guitar lessons are a possibility now. Right Bernadette? I’m currently

looking for a smaller guitar.

You got to love the healing power of music!

Uku can do it!!

Community Artist – Karl Jackson

by Dave Thorpe

Any regular Ukelandia Facebook followers cannot fail to have been intrigued, impressed and inspired by the playing of our own Karl Jackson. Karl has been a member of Ukelandia since December 2021 and is a regular, and valued poster of videos. Karl has a unique personally developed playing style necessitated by the fact that he has one arm. In this interview I discuss with him his ukuleles, the development of his playing and his ambitions. 

Hi Karl – an obvious starter – what got you into playing ukulele and how did you come across the Ukelandia community?

I first took an interest in the ukulele after my youngest daughter said she wanted to learn to play in 2019. Helping her get started watching tutorials online made me realize that I wanted to learn as well, though I had been told by music instructors in the past that playing more than hammer-ons on a stringed instrument would be impossible. 

What scale lengths do you use (soprano/concert/tenor/baritone) – are some more suited to your style than others?

My preferred scale length is concert, though I can play any of the differing sizes of ukulele. I found that the concert size fits best for my playing style as it best matched the length of my forearm. The longer scales require me to reach for the first few frets, that’s why I play the longer scales with the ukulele resting on my lap still.

Obviously, you have to do the job of two hands – strumming and fretting the notes – with one. For anyone who has not seen you play can you describe the mechanics of what you do?

To learn to play I had to train my fingers to do specific jobs on the fret board. I started with my ukulele lying on my lap face up like a dulcimer or lap steel guitar, fretting one string at a time with my index finger and picking the string with my pinky. As I built up the muscles needed to do this, I was able to start using my middle and ring fingers for fretting as well. So, my pinky is in essence doing the work of my strumming hand, and the other three fingers are doing all the fretwork. My thumb is usually supporting the back of the neck to keep the ukulele from moving around too much, that or I use it to pluck the open G string.

Those of us that follow you on FB have watched you develop as a player. We’ve seen you move from playing melody only to playing chords as well, and from playing the uke horizontally while sitting down to playing standing up. What do you consider to be the major developments in your style and what has driven those developments?

Every day I learn something new about the ukulele, my playing style, and the impact sharing my playing style has on others. The most recent developments in my play style have been learning to play with the ukulele strapped up off my lap, singing along to my own strumming, and playing my harmonica and the uke simultaneously. 

One of the biggest drivers in these developments has been my increasing confidence in my abilities.

Sharing my videos on Facebook (Ukelandia especially), lead to an outpouring of support from the ukulele community. The support and encouragement that I saw, made me honestly appraise my playing style, not for the one-handed aspect, but for the actual music I was making.

Away from the uke and playing, what is the music you listen to – are there particular musicians (uke or otherwise) that you admire?

I am a big fan of the blues, jazz, and especially ragtime music, which reflects itself in the music I play on ukulele. Some of my favourite past artists include Tom Lehrer, Robert Johnson, Frank Sinatra, and Larry Addler.

I am often enjoying the styling of Keb Mo, Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq, and Hugh Laurie, just to name a few.

You have come a long way since you joined us in 2021, what’s next?

Moving forward, the ukulele is becoming a predominant part of my life goals. I am working with music therapy groups out of New York and Hawaii to get established doing workshops at events and to help inspire others.
Additionally, I am working on a one-handed ukulele primer, so that others with limitations can break out of the “That’s Impossible” mindset.
Beyond that, I am excited to see where my ukulele takes me next!

Karl, many thanks for your time here and telling us about your musical journey. It’s been fascinating to hear your story. Thanks also for all your inspiring videos. I look forward to many more!! 

Learner to Luthier

by Peter Bos

The Ukelandia Facebook and Telegram groups have conversations about new and special ukuleles which is always a fruitful topic. Next to the well known Ukulele brands there is a market for custom ukuleles. These ukuleles are created by luthiers.

Whilst creating the Ukelandia Magazine, I came in contact with luthier, Kawai Carvalho from Coast Ukuleles. He is a very kind human being and he shared his emotional and heartwarming story of how he became a luthier with me.

Kawai was born in Hawaii, but left the Islands when he was 18 years old. He grew up around ukulele music, but he didn’t really catch the uke virus growing up. This didn’t happen until he and his partner EB had their first child and went to Hawaii for a vacation. During the holiday, he bought a Makala and fell in love with this instrument. It connected him to his Portuguese heritage and his roots back to the Island.

He brought the Makala back to California and UAS quickly struck Kawai, as his uke family expanded while he was still learning how to play it. He went to meet-ups and met a lot of native Hawaiian people who used the ukulele as a gateway back to their heritage. After acquiring about six ukuleles, Kawai became interested in a custom ukulele.

The 2020 pandemic gave him more time to get acquainted with building a custom ukulele for his collection. Custom ukuleles are priced high and as a true uke DIY’er, he decided on a simple ‘build your own’ uke kit, which has a lot of pre-made materials. Constructing this ukulele inspired him to make more. He started building his custom ukulele in his large garage only this time from scratch. I couldn’t imagine where to begin building a uke, but Kawai told me there is a lot of information online. Especially the “Ukulele Underground” which is a very supportive and helpful community with a lot of guides and approachable luthiers.


A lot of passion went to his ukulele and after he was done with his first uke, he already had new ideas for his next project. This inspired him, gave him joy and connected him to his heritage. This felt like the missing link in his life and Kawai wanted to keep building ukuleles. His partner EB supported him and gave him all the room to follow his new passion. Kawai and EB had two children, Kaipo and Nahele. EB watched the children during the pandemic, so Kawai could follow his newly found passion.

In early 2020, disaster struck as his life partner, EB suddenly passed away while pregnant with their third child. Now Kawai was on his own with his two kids and shortly after, his employer terminated his employment.. A lot of grief and stress followed, however the local and worldwide ukulele community lent him a lot of support. For instance, he had just ordered a supply of very expensive Hawaiian wood but in order to pay the rent and the bills, he reached out to return the wood to the supplier. Once they understood the reason for the return, they reimbursed him and told him to keep the wood to create a ukulele and share it with the people around him. The first ukuleles Kawai built were from his passion project and eventually gifts for friends and family.


Without his partner and a job, he wanted to keep building ukuleles and as he learned a lot from the first dozen ukuleles he built, he could now start doing it professionally.

During the interview he showed me his garage with the basic tools he used to construct his first ukuleles. These were still there next to the new heavy machinery he bought over time to work efficiently and professionally. Currently he has created about 50 ukuleles and is working on ten of them simultaneously.

All his ukes are custom made in negotiation with his clients. Some have specific wishes, others leave the design to Kawai. At the time of this interview, he was working on multiple ukuleles with the same neck, inspired by the Hawaiian islands. After a ukulele is finished and it gets played by Kawai; he tells me it truly is a magical moment as his eyes shine describing the moment. When constructing a ukulele he never knows how it will sound finished.

His favorite combination of woods is mango and spruce, but the Hawaiian Koa is a very popular wood. To all the UAS’ers reading this, Kawai has some advice: if you’re interested in custom ukuleles, you should buy one! Creating your own is costly and time consuming. The asking price of a Kawai custom build is currently around $1800 and his wait list is about a year long.Through Instagram, Kawai has shared his creations and has developed a strong following of about 2000 followers with a wonderful clientele, notwithstanding, the well known Southern Ukulele Store ordered a couple of ukuleles for their store.

In the future Kawai wants to keep making custom ukuleles for his brand Coast Ukulele. It’s his new home profession while watching the kids and homeschooling them. He isn’t looking to expand any further or hiring a lot of people to create a company. He wants to continue doing what he loves, building custom ukuleles with his heart, love and passion born during his life partnership with EB.

Follow Kawai’s journey and his creations on @coastukulele or coastukulele.com

Play the Ukulele

by The Cow and the Frog

My story started with a bad, lingering tummy ache in the summer of 2021. I went to my doctor who told me it was constipation. It wasn’t.

Two days later, I collapsed at work and I was rushed to the hospital where I had a severe internal haemorrhage. After a week in the hospital, receiving blood transfusions and being examined, I was sent back home. I feel like an idiot as I was so wobbly and weak, nevertheless I tried to go back to work. I collapsed again, was taken to the hospital and my boss told me to stay home until they found the source of the problem. My brain was mush, and my body was not functioning correctly. Noone seemed to know what was wrong with me.

I was praying during this time, and was told “play the ukulele”. It seemed like an odd thing to do, but I followed through.
I ordered an Enya Nova. This purchase was based purely on the Amazon reviews, and the fact that it was turquoise! It arrived, and we looked at each other in bemusement!
I started searching the Internet for instruction, and came across a lovely young lady named Bernadette. I devoured her courses, challenges and joined her Facebook group, Ukelandia.

I lurked for a while, gawping at all the accomplished people there. I finally plucked up the courage to post something of my own. That was it… I was hooked! I’ve played several instruments in the past, but never one as satisfying and addictive as this.

Then came the news that changed my life. The examinations that I’d been going through showed an aggressive rare cancer that had also invaded the lymph nodes.
I opened my heart on Ukelandia, and received an incredible outpouring of love. I wept as messages of support came in from around the world. The Ukelandia family has stayed with me every step of this journey, and I can’t ever thank them enough for their prayers, positivity and uplifting messages.

You are incredible Ukelandia, I love you.

How ‘’My Battle’’ saved my life

by Pauline van de Haar

Once upon a time… I was depressed. It took me several years (I think more than 15 years) to recover from my chronic depression. Yes, I understand the confusion: ‘’chronic means not curable’’, right? You could say that, but luckily, I was able to recover with a lot of help from the mental health care services, my parents, my friends, and… myself.

What does this intro have to do with ukuleles, or music in general?
First of all, music is kind of a therapy on its own. We all know that, don’t we? Second of all, it’s amazing that there are people on this planet trained to use music in a therapeutic way for clients or patients who are having a hard time and dealing with all kinds of problems.

Let’s talk about musical therapy and how it was a life-saver for me.

The first time I got into musical therapy was in 2008. I was admitted to a psychiatric clinic for adolescents and every week we made music. We talked about the music we played, whether it sounded okay or less okay. At that time, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing: ‘’I play the recorder, guitar and I sing, why make music with people who don’t know anything about music?’’, is what I thought. Well, the whole point of musical therapy is that you don’t have to be ‘’good’’ with music. Music, or making sounds is a way to deal with your emotions etc. In 2008, my experience with musical therapy wasn’t so great. All I wanted, was to be happy again and be able to take my lessons at the music school.

It took me quite some time to make a giant climb in recovery. I will not ‘’bore you’’ with details in my recover-story. Some people talk a lot about stuff, for some people this helps and is enough to recover. Some people need a different kind of treatment, besides talking therapy. They need to do something with their hands or body. Making sounds and using your voice to make something that speaks for you is so beautiful.

In 2019, I was treated with musical therapy again. But this time not in a group; Just myself, my therapist and all these instruments. It was like a candy shop! I was allowed to try out every instrument in the room, feel what the vibrations and sounds did to me. The first session, I cried. I knew music meant everything to me, but the thing that changed is that I finally got the hope I could live again.

With my therapist, whom I saw once a week, I tried out several things and instruments. After a few sessions she thought that it could be nice for me to write music myself. At that time, I was already playing ukulele for about 6 years, but only songs written by other people. She helped me write my thoughts on paper, where I would want to go with my recovery journey. She gave me homework: play some chords and feel what’s good for your song. Two weeks later, I went to the session with a song. Not just chords, but also lyrics. ‘’My Battle’’ was born.

We worked on the song, recorded it with ukulele (me), voice (me) and piano (therapist). I kept listening to my own words over and over again. Later that year, I said farewell to my therapist, finally I lived again! I learned to use music to cope with the demons in my head.

A whole bunch of songs were written in the last two years. Most of them about self-compassion. Recently I started writing about other stuff as well. Grief, love, and being good enough.

This is my story, this is my battle. But now I can say: ‘’This was my battle’’.